SATs: Sappy, Albeit Tacit
by mimosa eyes
Summary: Spitfire. A drabble series, 100 words a chapter — guaranteed not to raise your GPA. Includes follow-ups, fluffy nerdage and fatalistic events. Not much alliteration though. Epilogue now up.
1. Pulchritudinous

_in which Wally doodles his definition of 'beautiful'_

Emerald eyes skim the obscenely long list, stopping randomly at 'pulchritudinous', meaning 'physically beautiful; comely'. The speedster sighs and keeps going, but his gaze soon returns to the pentasyllabic monstrosity. It doesn't _sound_ 'comely' at all. Absentmindedly, Wally begins doodling in a caricature. _To help remember,_ his logical mind reasons.

His pencil wavers over the paper, then decisively shades the pupils a dark gray, almost black. Satisfied, he leans back — and realizes he has drawn Artemis.

"Hey sport, whatcha—"

Standing in the open doorway, Barry is cut off by the flurry of activity as Wally super-speed-erases the drawing.

* * *

><p><strong>Poll, Goldilocks style: is 100 words too little? Too much? (I hope not!) Or just right?<strong>

**m.e.  
><strong>


	2. Wherever You Want Me

_in which Wally and Artemis get wet — no, not in_ that _way._

He notices the familiar blonde hair first, then his phone buzzing: _Forget the arcade. Go get 'em, tiger._

The speedster smiles his _thank you!_, not caring where Ninja Kid was lurking this time.

In seconds, he's scooped up the damsel in distress and made it to the nearest shelter — a bus stop that smells like dying cigarette butts and wet clothes.

_Oh._

Wally sets Artemis down with jerky, Gen-2 movements.

"Next stop, Wherever You Want Me?"

_Smile, Wally, smile!_

She grins, reaching for his proffered jacket... and an umbrella from her backpack.

"I can take it from here, Baywatch."

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter: "Chemistry".<strong>

**m.e.**


	3. Chemistry

_in which dopamine is useless without norepinephrine_

_Men produce this 'love cocktail' more readily than women, because of their more visual nature._

Artemis's thoughts dart to a certain speedster, and she smirks. "Sure got _that_ right."

But then she lets the textbook slip from her fingers, standing to size herself up in the mirror. Wally's jacket is still draped over a chair, and the second she slips it on she shivers. It's absurd how his collarbone gave — _gives_ — her the crazy urge to nuzzle into the nook between his shoulder and cheek.

Glancing once more at her reflection, she shrugs the garment off and folds it, carefully.

* * *

><p><strong>Text from Artemis's 'textbook' majorly paraphrased from the HSW article called 'The Chemistry of Love'.<strong>

**m.e.**


	4. Momentum

_in which Red Tornado's timing needs to be less impeccable_

_Momentum is impetus, as of a physical object or —_

"I _hate_ physics," Artemis moans.

"Really? Agh, my heart!"

Wally zooms up, pretending to read while taking in the archer's frazzled appearance.

"Stand up," he suggests. Once she acquiesces he continues, "Basically, momentum is mass times velocity." The speedster runs past, easily skidding to a stop.

"But," and Wally waggles a finger at her, "If I..."

Now, he super-speeds back, registering too late that there's just not enough skid distance. Reflexively, his arms wrap around her, and they both go down, he shifting so she lands atop him — specifically, straddling him.

Winded, he lets out a strangled groan, squeezing his eyes tight shut.

"Wally?" Artemis leans in, inadvertently (or, maybe just a _little_ advertently) closing the gap between them. "You okay?"

Even as he gives her a weak thumbs-up, they notice the slight whir and clunk of Red Tornado's departing footsteps. Funny how their cheeks had turned the same color as the android's.

"So, vector quantity, has both magnitude and direction. Linearity, too."

Seemingly unmoved, she gets up and states shortly, "Thanks."

"Head of the Science Club, at your service, Ma'am."

She pauses. "_Don't_ call me Ma'am."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

><p><strong><em>200<em> words, exactly. Do you mind? (For the record, I blame Wally.)**

**m.e**


	5. Applesauce

_in which we hit a speed bump_

"So... how're you gonna profess your _undying love_?" Robin clutches his heart dramatically.

"Well, honesty's the best policy," Wally suggests slowly.

For a moment Robin seems ready to implode at his friend's... _telligence. _But then some Bat-training-fu kicks in and the Boy Wonder smirks. "When honesty means telling your crush she's as sweet as 3.14159, your new best policy is of the insurance variety."

"But—"

"_Try._"

"'You're more special than relativity.'"

"Bleh." Robin chomps down on an apple chip.

"...'You compute me.'"

"Applesauce."

"Applesauce?

"Slang. 'Nonsense; bunk'."

Wally hesitates. "Hand over those apple chips, I need to think."

* * *

><p><strong>I like apple chips. Review if you do too.<strong>

**I'm making a fill to a challenge my belated Christmas present to anyone who drops by. _Superglue _will be up on Boxing Day.**

**Merry Christmas, stranger.**

**m.e.**


	6. Your FNFB

_in which Wally executes his 'solution'_

_or_

_in which the apple chips helped_

The first time, she thinks it's all a joke. She half-expects to hear prepubescent giggles erupt from some not-so-Secret Location if she were to pocket the rose, hold it to her chest, delicately sniff it. Then the flowers start arriving with strange messages, 1's and 0's scrawled on slips of scented lavender paper.

Now she _knows _she's been played.

Till she runs the numbers through a binary-to-text converter: _your friendly neighborhood Flash Boy._

The next time she finds a rose in her locker, she also notices familiar sneaker squeaks as Wally races away.

* * *

><p><strong>Guilty as charged. Idea 'stolen' <span>in part<span> from the Teen Titans episode _Lightspeed. _Plus Spiderman reference.**

**m.e.**


	7. Tripping On Words

_in which Wally does just that_

He jumps about a mile when his phone rings.

"Inertia..." Artemis groans in greeting.

He doesn't know what exactly he expected, but it's not this.

"Wally? You there?"

"Yeah, I — I'll... come by. With textbooks and apple chips."

Her voice sounds a little strangled as she sighs, "Thanks."

"And hey," the speedster continues, "don't stress out. See you tomorrow. Bye."

A beep answers him; she's hung up.

"I think I love you," Wally mentions halfheartedly, then tosses his phone aside.

Somewhere in Gotham City, Artemis's lips sneak into a smile as she hangs up, then turns to her beeping microwave.

* * *

><p><strong>Written and edited while listening to Layla Kalif's <em>Shakespeare in Love.<em>**

**Title from Lifehouse's _You and Me._**

**Review? I**** feel _dis_concerted. Thanks to anyone who's sent a word my way. Reassures me I'm not telling myself a story. **

**m.e.**


	8. Panacea

_in which 'stressed' is 'desserts' spelled backwards_

"Uh?"

Wally stands, stunned, in the doorway.

Immediately Artemis stops spinning, planting her feet firmly. The room keeps twirling. "Just..." she begins breathlessly, brushing stray hairs from her face, "s-spinning counterclockwise."

A raised eyebrow. "Why...?"

"Well, each turn robs the planet of angular momentum," she states, going for 'knowledgeable, logical', "which fractionally slows its spin—"

"And lengthens the night — _theoretically,_ that is." Dazed, the speedster moves involuntarily closer to her.

_Giving me a little more time here, with you._

"I, uh..."

"Need to get out," Wally suggests slowly, thinking: _Probably just stressed. To which the obvious solution is..._

Next thing she knows, she's nestled in a booth in Bibbo's.

"Supey-Senior recommends the apple pie" is the only explanation Wally provides. Nervously, he shifts about.

"_Why_ are we here?" Her eyes narrow dangerously and he seems to recoil — but only a little.

"To turn your frown... upside down?" he offers, grinning.

_Now _she starts frowning.

"So the sky will be blue, but not you?"

Artemis's tone is flat. "It's nighttime. _Black _sky."

"Fine," he huffs, then tries one last time. "We're spelling 'stressed' backwards. Happy?"

He sizes up the menu while she smiles, _finally._

"Happy — good. Because you're paying."

* * *

><p><strong>The 'stressed''desserts' thing, credited to my twin sister. If you liked it, send her imaginary chocolate ice-cream!**

Hopelessly Unromantic: yeah, feeling rather concerted now.

prettykitty374: I guess if I wanted to write for myself, I'd not bother uploading it! Since updating is a painful process involving staying up to wee hours when my parents are asleep because I'm sure they'd disapprove of this.

**m.e.**


	9. Inertia

_in which Artemis is anything but unmoved_

"Inertia?" Wally's eyebrows quirk as he repeats her query. "The greater the mass, the greater the inertia."

"Wow. That _really _helps."

For the first time, he despairs over her propensity (or rather, lack thereof) to Physics fundamentals.

"Inertia is... unwillingness to be moved. Despite, say, an applied force." To demonstrate, he lightly kicks his chair leg. "See? With my weight, greater mass. Without it..."

Wally gets up and nudges the stool, which topples with a scary creaking, splintering sound. As he bites back obscenities, Artemis watches, deliberately _un_moved.

_I think I love you_, he said.

Only one problem. He _couldn't_.

* * *

><p><strong>Follows up from <em>'I think I love you' <em> in Chapter 7.**

**Basically, I didn't want to shamelessly portray an impossibly-always-perfect puppy love. There are problems in any relationship. Agreeable?**

**Exactly right to unsigned reviews by Pimu and Anon — you have all been part of my little demographic study: number of fellow YJ _and _XKCD fans.**

**m.e.**


	10. GIT

_in which Wally is a scientific impossibility_

"Peregrine falcons: top dive speed, 200mph. How fast can _you _go?"

Wally grins nervously. "Recently? Think... speed of light. Ish."

The archer whistles. "671 _million _mph. You're a scientific impossibility."

"I've taught you well, young grasshopper." The speedster bows.

"Dork."

He mutters something uncannily like "git", to which she smirks. "Been OD-ing on Clint Eastwood flicks?"

"No, GIT. You're my geek-in-training."

They almost laugh loud enough to blot out her instant mental playback: _you're mine._

_A scientific impossibility. Impossible that it was anything more than chemicals and hormones. Impossible that he'd love her if he only knew._

* * *

><p><strong>Speed of light statistic may not be accurate in Earth-16. But Wally West <em>has <em>done it before, in the comics.**

LizzyLollypops77: I hope not to disappoint. I have something a little more Wally than 'I love you' planned.

Destiny919: wow! Nice to meet you, fellow fan. Your question has been answered implicitly above. :)

**m.e.**


	11. Fado

_in which nobody's feeling the aster_

_You won't find faith or hope down a telescope, you won't find heart and soul in the stars; you can break everything down to chemicals, but—_

"It's all wrong."

Artemis jerks out of her daydream. _Yeah, _she reflects. _All... _wrong_._

Apparently, Wally's best friend has other things on his mind.

"This defines 'aster' as—"

"Asters," the archer interrupts, "are the beginnings of spindle fibers during prophase."

Robin grins despite himself. "Clearly, you're not feeling the aster."

"I see inaccurate definitions aren't the only things you read."

The lithe teenager nods, then, slyly, asks, "So... did Wally teach you that?"

* * *

><p>'<strong>Fado' comes from Latin <em>fatum <em>meaning 'fate' or 'destiny'. It's also a musical genre, hence the slight songfic elements. The lyrics continue: _but you can't explain a love like ours. _From _Science & Faith _by The Script.**

**Inspired by yesterday's Biology lesson. Asters are alternatively: types of sunflowers, a sunflower motif in Connecticut chest central panels, and the opposite of disaster.  
><strong>

**m.e.**


	12. Valency

_in which we share secrets like atoms share electrons_

_or_

_in which Rudolph meets Rapunzel_

"Physics?"

"Chemistry," Artemis moans, slamming down a much-abused textbook.

"Ions," Wally observes, green eyes intelligent. "Easy. I'll be a positive ion," he says, handing her an apple. "Here's an electron."

The spitfire takes a bite while he continues, "Now you're a negative ion. Ionic bonding in action."

"That simple?"

In a told-you-so way, the speedster chuckles. "Covalent bonding is too. Like this."

They take a bite together, locking gazes.

"Sharing electrons. Right?"

"_Outermost_ electrons, yeah," Wally confirms.

Artemis moans again. "I don't _get _electronic configuration." Slumping on the desk, she massages her head.

"It's sort of..." he hesitates a moment before continuing, "like an identity. What others see of you, which affects the way you interact with them."

She mumbles, "So much for secret I.D."

And again, Wally hesitates.

"Wallace Rudolph West. Laugh, go on."

She's quiet, dangerously quiet.

Then: "Artemis." She doesn't volunteer her surname. "You've known all along, really."

(A translation for the unsuspecting observer: _you've always known who I am._)

Wally nods, silently agreeing. But Artemis is still, and after a moment leans forward to hug him, so he doesn't have to see her tears.

He _can_ see, however, that something has changed.

* * *

><p><strong>Inspired by the Periodic Table. No, seriously.<br>**

**boobooblue says she/he wants an art fill. O.o Never expected that to happen. Unfortunately, I can't draw. So.  
><strong>

**m.e.**


	13. Take Two

_in which the chemicals dwindle_

_Norepinephrine produces a racing heartbeat; dopamine, a feeling of bliss._

Wally's heart beats achingly quicker, watching her scrutinize a vocabulary list. Looking up, she smiles wanly. "You know, oxytocin and vasopressin receptors are absent in other mammals. That's why they don't keep mates."

"You're getting better at this."

She's not done, continuing, "'Amaranthine', 'monogamous' — all ways to say 'forever'. Can this last forever?"

The speedster glances askance, cracks a joke without realizing it. And there is no dramatic music sequence; but the next day, she doesn't ask any more science questions, and it occurs to him that the last question she asked him is the one he should have answered.

_However, these chemicals soon dwindle; love becomes a past infatuation._

* * *

><p><strong>Follows up from Chapter 3 "Chemistry".<strong>

**Have I broken your shipper's heart?**

**m.e.**


	14. Saudade

**30 Jan: happy birthday, Christian Bale. In honor of your awesomeness as Batman, I have installed upon my black pencil case an orange badge with a grinning cartoon bat and the words, _Back off! I will bite..._**

* * *

><p><em>in which Artemis meets Wally's SAT vocabulary list<em>

The words swim dizzyingly in her gaze. Likely refracted by the hot tears that got past the dams she's erected behind both eyes.

_Cicatrix — new tissue that forms over a wound and later contracts into a scar_

_Rive — to rend, harrow or distress (the heart)_

_Forget this, _Artemis tells herself, picking a pencil off the table. She doesn't _do _crying. The archer begins scribbling wildly, all over the paper, now noting, with angry joy, 'Wally West' on the first page.

Until she perceives a faint outline, a past imprint that remains unshaded.

It's... _her_, doodled beside the word 'pulchritudinous'.

_Beautiful._

* * *

><p><strong>All definitions from dictionary(dot)reference(dot)com<strong>

**Follows up from Chapter 1 "Pulchritudinous" and Chapter 13 "Take Two...".**

**Coincidentally, today, January 30, is Brazil's official day of saudade (Galicia-Portuguese), the closest English translation of which is 'the love that remains'. It can also mean missing someone or something you care a lot about, according to (the _actual_ Brazilian) Juliana Santos!  
><strong>

**m.e.**


	15. To The Power Of

_in which anything to the power of zero is one_

"KF."

Some part of him valiantly feigns nonchalance while his eyes comb that familiar margin.

"KF."

Wally frowns. _Where's—?_

"It's Artemis's list. She has yours. _Duh._"

Even her name makes him wince. "Right. What were you saying?"

If not for the trademark dark glasses, he would have been able to see his friend's eyes rolling. "Indices. Little help?"

"Right, right..." Absentmindedly, his mind echoing _Artemis, _Wally glances at the worksheet then hints, "Anything to the power of zero is one."

As Robin experiences a minor mathematical revelation, Wally can only wonder why, with nothing left, he feels like a _half._

* * *

><p><strong>Listen to Jason Mraz's <em>I Won't Give Up <em>while reading! For a little background on yours fluffily, plus credits, see postscript.**

**Final chapter, "All You're Meant To Be": in which all you're meant to be ≈ ****everything. Please keep bugging me to finish editing! I'm still unsatisfied with the scene.**

**m.e.**

P. S. Noticed that I have (at least?) one biomedical major reader. Hi, PrincessLazyPants! (I'm waving now.) I'm still in the midst of studies. Current age = this chapter number. I think it was obvious.

Thanks to Juliano Santos for being her awesome Brazilian self, pointing out my mistake in Chapter 14.


	16. All You're Meant To Be

**For the lovely Black Licorice Addict. Certified!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>in which all you're meant to be ≈ everything<em>

The plan is, Robin would declare, _extremely_ turbing. Artemis thinks she's getting science help. Wally... probably just thinks _free food! _When they first spot each other, realize they've been set up, she can't seem to smile. The air turns chilly, only in part due to Bibbo's malfunctioning air-conditioner_._

"Pulchritudinous?" she ventures, shivering.

He shrugs off his jacket. "Yeah."

Artemis's eyes burn imaginary craters into the table as she accepts the garment. "I didn't hang up, that night."

It takes a moment for the penny to drop, but when it does, it keeps dropping, till Artemis quietly interrupts. "Alright. My name is—"

"You don't have to tell me," Wally blurts with typical tact. "I always knew."

"You _what?_"

Alarmed but undeterred, the speedster quickly continues, "My geek-in-training. It's all I need to know." _To love you._

_Mine._

Artemis lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"You asked me if this would last forever. I can tell you it won't."

Wide gray eyes locked onto his.

"But maybe we don't _need_ forever." Wally grins, his glance at her expression rewarded by the skepticism he's missed seeing, so much. "Because we already have everything."

Of course, Robin's either gagging or filming from his Secret Location as they kiss, rushed, hungry.

Until Artemis abruptly breaks away.

"Please, don't be one of those idiots who text that it meant nothing the next day."

Wally can only smile, and say, "I thought I was _your_ kind of idiot." They lean in, closer.

"I can live with that." Was he imagining the playful lilt in her voice?

"_Live _with it? You'll, like,_ revel_ in—"

"Wally?"

"Mm."

"Stick to teaching science. You obviously don't know how to shut up and just _kiss_ me."

So, of course, that's when he _really _kisses her.

* * *

><p><strong>Parachute's <em>Kiss Me Slowly. <em>'Nuff said.**

**You likey?  
><strong>

**m.e.**


	17. Kismet Epilogue

_in which we write the obligatory denouement to a never-ending story_

'Tacit' means 'understood without being openly expressed'. Watching from afar one might assume they were exchanging _I love you's,_ sappy stock-words to that effect. But in reality?

"Till next I climb your hair, Rapunzel."

"Go back to the Pole, Rudolph. And _stay_ there."

Of course, he means he likes working out the knots in her hair, the same way he coaxes a smile from her — gently, gingerly. And she's probably thinking about that day in the rain, sopping wet with burning cheeks and a fluttering heart. Or of the way Wally's lips tend to taste like apple sauce and lemonade, two things she's somehow always associated with summertime and happiness.

About that. Suffice it to say that every time Artemis hears Robin cracking his "fast with his feet, not so much with his mouth" joke, she can't help but think, _oh, yes. _Every time this hugely unfair but completely enjoyable disparity evinces itself, she... doesn't think much at all.

Just that if this were a rabbit hole, she'd fall, gladly, to get lost in Wonderland all over again.

Still, she remembers to roll her eyes when he jokes that there's 20 milliamperes of current racing through him — the level at which your muscles contract and _you just can't let go._

Someday they'll grow up, start telling more than trivial lies. When the bickering gets old, they'll recall the days they built blanket forts and stayed up way too late. Because when someone special comes along, you don't wait for an 'I love you'. You decode every little gesture; you give her a Valentine saying:

x = 16 sin3 t

y = 13 cos t – 5 cos (2t) – 2 cos (3t) – cos (4t)

because its graph is _heart_-shaped.

And when you touch, you mentally count the Fibonacci sequence — because that's about as never-ending as you'd like this all to be.

* * *

><p>'<strong>Kismet' means 'fate; destiny'. Turkish. Now, go look up nerdy things and trawl through the wonderful collection of fluff that's showing up on here. Oh, and for all your awesomeness(es?), expect a V-Day treat on <em>Fill In The Blanks <em>soon. Artemis's response to Wally's heart-shaped graph. Sorta.  
><strong>

**m.e.**


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